We Mourn the Loss – Chrissy Varholak
June 21, 2022
From the Columbus House Fall 2018 Volunteer News Volunteer Spotlight:
Chrissy Varholak reflects on Abraham’s Tent
Two years ago I joined a small group from Orange Congregational Church (OCC) to provide dinner and fellowship to a group of 12 men from Columbus House as they stayed at North Haven Congregational Church (NHCC). The dinner was lively and full of sports talk as the Super Bowl was fast approaching. We met John and Pricilla from NHCC and learned more about Abraham’s Tent and their church’s role in hosting a week. A seed was planted that night that perhaps we could host our own week in Orange.
The following year, our group was back at NHCC, providing dinner and two overnight volunteers. I took my 15 year old son. Having already had the experience the previous year, we handled dinner more efficiently and were able to talk to the guests more intimately. I watched as my son spoke textbook Spanish and had a genuine conversation with one of the men. I was taken back by how easily the conversation flowed. Each of us has a story to tell. To watch a high school sophomore from the suburbs engage and get to know a man experiencing homelessness from the city was truly touching.
Seeing the impact we were having and getting to hear the stories of the men inspired our small group to do more. We knew we wanted to bring this experience not only to our congregation, but also to our greater community. This year OCC hosted our first week. The response to our requests for donations and volunteers was instant and overwhelming. We had an abundance of food and fellowship. The 10 men we hosted were amazing! On the first night one of the participants walked in and said “You’re smiling, I’m smiling, I’m so happy to be here!” And so our week began.
We not only included our congregation, but also volunteers from Holy Infant Church, Temple Emanuel, Notre Dame High School, and others. Our week was especially meaningful to me as I was able to watch my three children, ages 10, 13 and 16, make connections with the men. Over the course of the week, the men had gone from strangers, to guests, to friends.
As a family, we spent almost every night at the church having dinner and fellowship with “the guys.” They played giant Jenga together and exchanged sports talk. By Wednesday the guys were asking about my daughter’s basketball game and my son’s school activities. They encouraged my kids to do well in school. They became invested in us, and we in them.
As the week progressed we started to go early in the morning to help the breakfast crew send the guys off with food and gift cards from our church. By Sunday, as we realized they were moving on the next day, we cried. At first, our tears were tears of pure joy that came from deep and uncontrollable belly-laughs while we played ping pong and exchanged funny stories and memories of the week with the guests. Those tears turned to tears of sadness for having to let them go. We had heard their stories and spent every day that week with them. We were concerned and worried for them.
After a very tearful goodbye on Monday morning, I made a prayer board for our family and wrote down each man’s name on it. It sits in my dining room and even now, nine months later, their names remain. My family and our church members have memories of our Abraham’s Tent week that will stay with us. The guys are now part of our story and we are part of theirs. Weeks after they moved on from OCC we met again at the wrap-up dinner. The recognition was instant and the hugs were tight. The tears I cry now and then when I think back to our week together are tears of thankfulness. I am so thankful for the partnership of Orange Congregational Church and Columbus House, that God has brought each and every one of the guys into our lives, and that they have the support of Columbus House and its dedicated staff and volunteers working tirelessly to help their stories be ones of strength and success.